By Norm the Worm

As we count down to Christmas all across Gwinnett County,

Every stocking is stuffed, every tree holds a bounty.

Every child in bed, all snug and all warm

Awaits jolly Saint Nick, who claims he’s Not the Norm.

It is said that he travels to every chimney

On a sleigh flown by reindeer? Now to me, that sounds flimsy.

This being of magic has become quite a problem

as he pulls viewership from my regional column.

Why does everyone covet this guy they’ve not met

while I’m out here spreading the joys of Gwinnett?

Let’s all set aside the fervor for Christmas

And instead go support a fun local business!

Don’t set out milk and cookies or any dessert,

Celebrate like a worm and go play in the dirt!

Don’t encourage a man to get covered in soot,

Encourage a writer who writhes underfoot!

Let’s all say no to Santa, that old diplodocus,

And give our home county that holiday focus.

So gather your loved ones and hold them all firm,

And select a new mascot: not a man, but a worm.